Holy Matrimony

Background Scripture: Genesis 1–2
Lesson Scripture: Genesis 2:7, 18–24; Ephesians 5:22–25, 28

Introduction

Holy matrimony is the God-sanctioned union of one man and one woman. God provided marriage to bless the human family, but it becomes troublesome when God’s original design is abused through selfishness. A happy marriage makes a happy home. A rocky marriage creates insecurity and unhappiness in the home. The pivotal factor is whether the matrimony is holy: a binding, intimate contract entered into in the fear of God and maintained in accordance with His divine purpose. God’s divine purpose is accomplished as the husband and wife love each other with an unconditional love. Matrimony will default to carnality if this godly purpose is compromised.

Reason tells us that ultimately the condition of our marriages and homes determines the condition of the church. God is keenly interested in our homes for many reasons, not the least being that those who will lead the church often come from Christian homes.

Key Verse

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Matt. 19:6).

Lesson Scripture

Studying the Lesson

It is interesting to note that God trusted Adam to give every creature a fitting name. In fact, we can deduce from Genesis 2:19 that God was curious to see what Adam would call each one, and He was pleased with Adam’s choices. But Adam did not call any of those animals “My Helpmeet.” Adam must have had a sense of need when he did not see one that met the requirements to be his companion among the creatures he had named.

The Creator responded to Adam’s need by fashioning someone who would meet Adam’s inadequacies. The beautiful being that God presented to him, Adam called “Woman.” Eve had been taken from Adam’s side, thus signifying the immutable truth that any concept of marriage outside of a man and a woman is contrary to God’s will. And what God brings together will work together.

The husband-wife relationship as described by the apostle Paul in Ephesians 5 constitutes an organism: individuals mutually dependent and functioning together to fulfill a purpose. Together they comprise one unit; their diverse functions mesh and contribute to the other’s completeness. Nevertheless, due to the fallen human nature, husbands and wives need to heed God’s order to keep their union holy. Thus Paul teaches the wife to submit herself to her own husband in the same way that the church submits to Christ. In the same order, he instructs the husband to love his wife even as Christ loved the church. It is said that a husband should so love his wife that she cannot help but submit to him. And the wife should so reverence her husband that he cannot help but love her.

A Christian husband bears the greater responsibility for the happiness of his marriage and the emotional health of his home. God has appointed him that role. If he will humble himself, God will give him the needed wisdom and grace to make his home a place of love and good will. Paul says that even as Christ gave Himself for the church that He might sanctify it, so the husband must give himself for his wife in order to help her become what she ought to be. Deep inside her heart she desires to please her husband.

This sanctifying is accomplished by that true love which causes a husband to give himself for the welfare and happiness of his wife. A husband’s lack of unselfish love and willing sacrifice brings insecurity to the family. On the surface, it may appear that a wife is not submissive, but where is the faithfulness and unction of the husband to bring his wife to sanctification? On the other hand, the humility and submission of a God-fearing wife has caused many a husband to amend his way (1 Pet. 3:1–2).

Practical Truths for Today

The institution of matrimony is God’s gracious provision for mankind’s well-being and, in that sense, it is divine. Even though society recognizes the godly concept of marriage and family as a good thing, a marriage is not necessarily holy matrimony. Among God’s people, the designation of holy matrimony indicates a man and woman who share the same faith. They have sought the face of God in their choice of one another and have found this choice confirmed by spiritual love and natural attraction. In the fear of God they have solemnly vowed to each other and to the almighty God to keep themselves only unto the other as long as they both are living.

The sanctity in Christian matrimony is in the faith, purity, and holiness of the bridal pair. At some point in their lives, they have heeded the call of God to repentance and have been born again. Ideally, they have kept themselves in the Christian way and have grown in the grace and knowledge of the Lord (2 Pet. 3:18). As they came to maturity, befitting of those contemplating such an important step as marriage, consecration and dedication to the Lord has been evidenced. In sincerity they have followed the way of the Lord as outlined by the counsels of the church. They have walked the way of holiness, contracted their engagement properly, and kept themselves in purity until the wedding day. Such holiness honors God and blesses the bride and groom on the wedding day as well as throughout their life.

Consider the following truths relating to the divine purpose of holy matrimony and its many benefits to humanity.

The immediate and long-term benefit of each one’s happiness is found in a Christian marriage. Included here are the spiritual well-being and salvation of the soul. Other aspects of happiness lose their appeal if seeking the highest prospects of the soul is not the underlying inspiration. Failure to recognize this will cause a marriage, regardless of the initial excitement, to lose its luster with time. This inspiration is found in true love.

Christian matrimony has the express purpose of being a living example of the relationship between Christ and the church. A careful reading of Ephesians five will bear this out. “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Eph 5:31–32). Though not often considered, this is a noble purpose pleasing to God.

Matrimony, as the church teaches, provides the best setting for the honorable propagation of the human race. Some say that the “duty” of populating the earth has been accomplished, but God has not rescinded His injunction to “be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish [fill] the earth” (Gen. 9:1). The desire to have children harks back to the Creator’s original design. Society retains something of that sense also, but the Christian couple has the noble view to rear their children for the Lord’s profit like Hannah did (1 Sam. 1:27).

A happy home is built on the foundation of Jesus Christ. The father and mother who have peace in their hearts and with thanksgiving for God’s provision and providence will love each other without selfishness. Possibly nothing will dispose children to choose the Lord’s way more than the security felt in Father and Mother’s love and consideration for one another. It is rightly noted that the best gift a father can give his children is to love and respect their mother, and vice versa.

Illustration

A young sister, desiring a husband, was impressed by the sincerity and consecration of a young brother. She knew nothing of his feelings and wondered whether her wish would come to pass. In time the brother did propose, and they married. Neither of them had any idea of the physical trials and adversity that would come into their married life. But God has sustained and guided them, and the truths of Ephesians 5 have been clearly portrayed in their marriage. Because their union was of God, their anchor holds.

A young man in his late teens responded to the call of God. Several years after his baptism, while World War II was raging, he entered CPS service in lieu of military duty. While yet in service, he married, and they began a union that was dedicated to the Lord’s service. Theirs was a lifetime of mission work at home and elsewhere. They did not strive for greatness, materially or otherwise. They reared a family in the fear of the Lord. They were granted length of years, and the sum of it all was the benefit of Christ and the church.

Questions

1. How does the deterioration of marriage and family values affect a nation? The church?
2. Is the solemnity of matrimony sometimes crowded out by vanity, fun, and frivolity in our weddings? If so, what is the cause, and how can it be corrected?
3. Is the statement, “If I could do it again, I would marry just like I did and rear my family in the same way” a valid indicator of God’s blessings?
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Source: COGICM Daily Bible Readings (Daily Bible Readings, PO Box 124, Glenn, CA 95943).