Preschool
Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men. Matthew 4:19
Self-Control
Memory Verses
Primary
And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men. Matthew 4:19
Junior
And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men. Matthew 4:19
Background Scripture: James 1
Lesson Scripture: Proverbs 25:28; 16:32;
Introduction
Self-control is the ability to restrain and regulate one’s thoughts, emotions, and behavior, especially in the face of temptations and difficulties. Of necessity, self-control must be placed on a high pedestal for successful Christian living. It greatly affects our witness to the world, our interpersonal relationships, and how we feel about ourselves. Self-control is a worthy goal and essential to Christian growth and character and may well be one of the great challenges of our life.
Key Verse
But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway (1 Cor. 9:27).
Lesson Scripture
Proverbs 25:28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
12:16 A fool’s wrath is presently known: but a prudent man covereth shame.
14:8 The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way: but the folly of fools is deceit.
14 The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways: and a good man shall be satisfied from himself.
15 The simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going.
16 A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident.
17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated.
18 The simple inherit folly: but the prudent are crowned with knowledge.
29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.
19:11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.
19 A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver him, yet thou must do it again.
20 Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.
Studying the Lesson
As noted in the key verse, the apostle Paul understood that self-control directly affected his credibility as an ambassador for Christ. Our credibility as Christian believers is no less at stake today. Will wisdom, prudence, and discretion be our guiding principles? Will self be under control—or in control?
Self-control applies to many areas, but our lesson verses particularly emphasize self-control in suppressing anger and wrath. Without exception, anger and wrath must have no permanent dwelling in the temperament of a Christian. We may have our struggles with these malign emotions, but they must never be allowed to have free rein or to control us. We are to rule our spirit and passions, be slow to anger, and willingly accept counsel and instruction to gain the mastery over these deviant expressions of self.
The story of King Solomon, the principal author of the Proverbs, is a cautionary tale for our day. It is a story of greatness and of a wise man without peer, but it is also a story of tragedy and foolishness. Solomon began his reign with a humble heart, blessed with special closeness to the Lord. He was a master builder, the temple being his crowning achievement. But then excessive wealth and honor and the wiles of idolatrous women caused a loss of self-control and affected his moral compass. The effect of this misconduct was devastating. The preeminence of the glorious temple was short-lived. Israel fell to a state of nearly constant turmoil, became a divided nation, and was assailed by enemies from within and without.
Today, we are as knowledgeable as ever of the virtues of self-control. To conform our practice to our teaching is still the crux of the matter. We recognize the importance of godly and morally sound leaders in the home, the congregation, and the nations. And we also recognize and lament the terrible loss when an older, experienced Christian loses the way because he is wise in his own eyes.
Practical Truths for Today
Few areas of our lives are unaffected by self-control. It affects our eating habits: what we eat, our portion size, and where we eat. Many people make an honest attempt to have a healthy lifestyle, but it is evident that obesity is not a trivial problem. It is also evident that the sin of gluttony, which applies not only to eating, has become somewhat of an afterthought and has lost its sinfulness to many.
Self-control affects the spoken word as well as the inflection of the voice. It is a telling indicator of self-control whether we practice the discipline of silence and the bridling of our tongue. How many times have we lamented those uncontrolled words that made a situation worse instead of better? And how thankful we have been when grace and restraint kept those unwise words from leaving our lips.
Self-control applies to our money and time management. In the honesty of our hearts, how much of our money is spent on nonessential things? How much of our time is wasted on trivial pursuits? Closely related are our hobbies and recreational habits. These activities may not be out of line, but the money and time spent on them should not be exorbitant. Self-control does not necessarily mean that we will live an austere lifestyle, but who of us could not exercise a greater measure of frugality and simple living?
Self-control is not like a magic elixir for a favored few. While it is true that some people are blessed with a naturally calm spirit and are better able to handle stress, none of us is a finished product. We should be under no illusions; self-control is demanding, both in practice and application. As we progress in self-control, changes likely will need to be made. Change is never easy, and we can expect an internal struggle and a humbling of our spirit, but there is no other way to bring about strong, inner character. The muscles in our bodies become stronger as we exercise them. So, likewise, is the “muscle” of self-control.
Patiently waiting on God and each other is a rigorous test of our self-control. Youth and even the not-so-young are often faced with situations that take self-control. Waiting for a driver’s license or waiting to get married are a good Christian exercise in self-control. The Christian’s example in self-control is a powerful witness to a world consumed by an increasingly frenetic and entertainment-oriented lifestyle.
Self-control is not an option if we are to live a successful Christian life. We are creatures of temperament, emotions, and desires. If these facets of our personality are not brought under control, they will control us. Such would be the case with habitual negative thinking. Negativity can gain a foothold in individuals, families, and even congregations. Negativity can easily be the precursor to spiritual, mental, and emotional breakdown. The antidote to this aspect of the kingdom of darkness can hardly be given here in few words, but one very relevant word is repentance.
Where we have deviated, it will take repentance to get back on the road of self-control. It will take repentance where we have pampered the flesh by gluttonous eating habits, been slothful in business and private life, justified our temper tantrums, and placed inordinate affection on our electronic devices. We tend to be deceived that self-control is deprivation when the opposite is true; self-control will set us free from over-indulgence and many of its associated maladies.
Parents, diligently teach your children to deny themselves. Do not become weary in well-doing. Do your best, especially by example, to inculcate the virtues of self-control in them. Children and youth who observe their parents’ self-control in daily life are inspired to follow. We will compromise our witness and leadership if we ask of them what we ourselves do not do.
Self-control is not accomplished in one day but must be cultivated in a lifelong journey of perseverance and consistency. It is the journey of the narrow way, with the Holy Spirit as our faithful guide. Notably, the fruit of the Holy Spirit includes temperance (Gal. 5:23), which is usually listed as self-control in newer translations. On this journey, God is patient with us and gives us goals that are achievable. We practice good habits, despite the temptations offered in the delicacies before us. We learn to delay gratification, using self-restraint to gain the mastery over our impulsive nature. We learn from our mistakes and do not give up or blame others for them. These are timeless principles, applicable to all, irrespective of age.
In the heart of every born-again believer and searching soul, the Lord has begun that good work spoken of in Philippians 1:6, “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” Our part in this good work is to nurture self-control. This is the way to build a life marked by humility and moral depth. Such a life will radiate security and confidence—but not overconfidence. Our confidence and self-control are not in the arm of flesh but in the abiding presence of the Holy Spirit.
Questions
- Is it possible to be expressive and “full of life” and yet remain under the Holy Spirit’s control?
- We place a premium on being busy and productive. How then do we retain a calm and patient spirit in a world driven by haste and ambition?
- What are some suggestions to promote self-control in our children?
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Source: COGICM Daily Bible Readings (Daily Bible Readings, PO Box 124, Glenn, CA 95943).