A Faithful Friend

Background Scripture: Proverbs 27
Lesson Scripture: Proverbs 27:5-6, 9-10, 17, 19; 18:24;

Introduction

Poets and preachers readily refer to the joys and sorrows of life because they are a part of daily living. Friendship brightens joy and lightens sorrows. Everyone needs a friend, and everyone has the opportunity to build relationships. An opportunity to be a friend is a God-given obligation and should be handled with care.

Key Verse

Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you (John 15:15).

Lesson Scripture

Studying the Lesson

The lesson scripture provides several different perspectives on friendship. King Solomon had great insight, and history records some of his experiences with friends and brothers. His brother Adonijah wanted to be king and attempted to take the throne. After giving him time to prove himself trustworthy, Solomon judged him to be resistant to his authority and had him executed. King David had a faithful friend in Hiram, king of Tyre. Hiram sent offers of friendship to Solomon, referring to his former relationship with David. Solomon valued this friendship and cultivated it to the great benefit of both. Experiences like these are a likely basis for Solomon’s observations on the topic of friendship.

The story of David and Jonathan is one of friendship that reached across boundaries of wealth and status. David was young and from a humble background, while Jonathan was a prince. But Jonathan’s eyes were open to the reality of the true character of David, and rather than seeing him as an enemy and a threat to his own future, he cast in his lot with David, and they became very close.

John 15 is a sermon about love in relationships. Midway through the chapter, Jesus matter-of-factly states that a true friend is known by how he will give up his own life for the benefit of his friend. Jesus had not yet sacrificed himself upon the cross, so his listeners could not reference that event against what He was saying. Surely his words were later clarified in their minds as they fully understood Christ’s love in salvation’s plan.

Practical Truths for Today

Friendship and all its attending benefits and responsibilities are a gift from God to mankind. Its basis is love. In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were not subject to selfish inclinations that today corrupt and destroy. Since the fall, relationships are some of the devil’s primary targets. Because of this, godly people need to be “looking diligently . . . lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled” (Heb. 12:15).

Having a friend is not the same as being one. What does it mean to be a true friend? In Matthew 19:16, the rich, young ruler addresses Jesus as “good Master,” and Jesus replies that only God is good. Certainly, Jesus, who is God in person, can be a friend, true and good. When He is our friend, we have all we need, yet human friends and friendships are an important need as well and have a place and fill a need. We can, however, experience disappointment and a sense of betrayal in relationships. If these kinds of experiences are not properly dealt with, they can cause our hearts to harden. By allowing offense and fear to form a crust of self-protection around our souls, we can find ourselves in a very lonely place. Such a person really needs a friend, but it can be difficult to know how to befriend one who is hurting and isolated. A Christian of any age can be brought low by trials and temptations and need a friend. Such a person will need to open his heart, and God will provide a friend who cares. Someone, though, will need to first be prepared to listen.

In our baptismal vow, we promise to be willing to reprove a brother or sister and to accept reproof from them. This is an important aspect of being a true friend. The lesson scripture touches on this. Heartfelt communication is vital to friendship. In our key verse, Jesus said, “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends” (John 15:14-15).

The core of a Christian’s relationship with God is expressed in 2 Corinthians 6:1: “We then, as workers together with him.” It is good for a Christian to think of himself as a servant of God, but God’s purpose is more; when we truly have the same goals and interests, He can reveal his purposes and plans to us as He sees best. This does not mean we will know all about Him, but we can be safe and at rest with Him, a mark of true friendship.

When Jesus was placed under arrest in the garden of Gethsemane, He told his captors, “I have told you that I am he: if therefore ye seek me, let these go their way” (John 18:8). Regardless of the thoughts going through his disciples’ minds when He said this, He was a true friend to his poor, human disciples, who could do nothing to deliver Him, yet whose love and support would have meant so much to Him. In this moment, they all forsook Him and fled. Later, after they were converted, their love, loyalty, and commitment to Jesus became true and unwavering.

Jesus told his disciples, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Here Jesus stated the crucible of human love and friendship. In John 11:16, Thomas says to his fellows, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” This was when Jesus told them he was going to Bethany because Lazarus had died. Thomas was afraid of Jesus’s enemies, but he intended loyalty. Peter stated that he would die with Jesus, but the strength of his commitment also failed. Their unconverted state limited them to less than what Jesus had described.

Jesus demonstrated a love that far exceeded the human limit by giving his life, not only for his friends but for his worst and fiercest enemies. The very people who tortured Him to death were given an opportunity to have their sins washed away and their souls saved through the death to which He surrendered Himself. Jesus gave us a pure and true Christian example of what it means to be a friend.

The friendship of Jesus is far superior to anything that people, by merely calling each other buddies, partners, or companions, can achieve by their own effort. God’s grace working in the life of a born-again Christian opens new possibilities. Unselfishness can become selflessness, which is its sanctified version and a godly characteristic. Jesus offers Himself as a friend to whomsoever desires a relationship with Him. We are blessed indeed if we have received and accepted the offer. To begin to take this gift for granted and become negligent of it is an ever-present danger. Then hardness of heart and partiality can start to develop, and finally, we may despise the great gift of God.

First Timothy 6:6 says, “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” Whenever we make a choice to cultivate godliness and contentment, we are maintaining our friendship with Jesus. This is a most important foundation for making the most of friendship in our homes, in God’s church, and in our communities.

Questions

1. Discuss the role of friendship between parents and children.
2. What are the pros and cons of choosing our friends?
3. Share some thoughts or experiences on “best friends.”

Source: COGICM Daily Bible Readings (Daily Bible Readings, PO Box 124, Glenn, CA 95943).