Love and Submission

Background Scripture: Ephesians 5
Lesson Scripture: Ephesians 5:22-33

Introduction

Two separate injunctions are given to married persons in today’s lesson scripture. Wives are instructed to submit to their husbands, and husbands are commanded to love their wives. When viewed as a complete package, this dual-action equation works with wonderful good effect. The complete and abiding love of a husband for his wife will make it possible for her to willingly submit to him. Likewise, a submitted wife will be someone a husband will want to love and be devoted to. The marriage relationship is similar to the relationship between Christ and his people and provides not only a pattern but a right and true standard. Numerous comparisons, examples, and illustrations can be found throughout the Bible.

Key Verse

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Gen. 2:24).

Lesson Scripture

Studying the Lesson

Without personal submission to God’s order, a Christian’s life can bear no fruit. This is true for men and for women, for all Christians of all ages. Christians are also commanded to submit one to another, a token of submission to God (Eph. 5:21).

The relationship between men and women, particularly between husbands and wives, was set in order by God in the beginning. Teaching on the marriage bond can be found throughout the Bible either in direct instruction or in illustrative example. In creating man first and woman out of man, God had a specific purpose in mind. Since we are God’s creation and not here by chance, we need to to pay special heed to what we can understand of his intentions. That God said Adam needed a helpmeet is significant. Adam was incomplete by himself, and men everywhere should realize their lack of completeness. Men should remember that the first woman was taken out of Adam’s side, not his heel.

When Eve was deceived by the devil and she and Adam fell from God’s grace, God told Eve, “Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Gen. 3:16). The desire to become attached is often stronger in women than men. Men with their selfish nature have caused much heartache by overriding women’s desires to be cared for and loved. This was not by God’s original design but is a result of sin and disobedience: first in Eve’s disobedience and then Adam’s sin, followed by the sins of men and women throughout the ages.

Christ’s love for his church is our premium example. When Jesus came to the earth as our Redeemer, He came as a little, vulnerable infant. By trusting in his Father to protect Him, He showed by example that He who is to lead must first learn to submit. Jesus then lived in subjection to his earthly parents for many years, finally proving his ultimate submission by his death. In paying for the sins of those who would make up his church, He spoke his love. The Bible says He “learned . . . obedience by the things which he suffered” (Heb. 5:8). He then rose as the supreme victor, having defeated his enemies and paving a way for his people. Since that time, He has continued to show his care for us in leading and making a way for us.

Practical Truths for Today

God’s order for the home is under severe attack in our day. The benefits of the home unit, designed by God, cannot be underestimated. Sadly, scriptures that plainly teach God’s order are shunned today, even by many professing Christians. We must continue to not only believe but also teach these scriptures and carefully apply ourselves to understanding them in their entirety. To teach submission without love or love without respect will not uphold the biblical pattern.

Men are especially vulnerable to feelings of being dishonored. When a man’s self-esteem is threatened, he is inclined to act irresponsibly and harshly. The Scriptures plainly counsel wives to submit to and reverence (respect) their husbands for good reason. Wives should not be confused on why the Scripture does not stress loving their husbands as much as respecting them. It is in a woman’s nature to love her husband. Respect and submission will not necessarily come as naturally, yet it goes a long way toward building a healthy relationship. Many marital shipwrecks begin with a husband not receiving the respect he needs from his wife. Wives must not overlook this vital aspect of a successful marriage relationship.

Conversely, men are commanded quite emphatically in the Scriptures to love their wives, accompanied with illustrations and examples. Men should carefully consider the examples of how Christ loves his church. Since the Bible appeals to men’s reason, men should also think long about the advantages of loving their wives. Ephesians 5:28 is of notable importance. Women respond to care and attention, a confirmation of their husband’s love for them. Since a married couple is to be one flesh, love and support must be reciprocal, benefiting both partners. Since most men do not show love very naturally, it is necessary for the Bible to remind husbands to love their wives. Without reciprocating love, a wife’s best effort to respect and submit to her husband will be trampled and returned to her void. A woman will only be able to do that for so long; too many marriages have cooled and faltered and finally become broken because of the selfishness and inattentiveness of the husband.

After the initial generation of church leaders who had personally walked and talked with Jesus had passed away, deceptive spirits and anti-Christian forces began to be felt within the church. Within just a few generations, the deception became so pronounced that Christ led his faithful followers down a completely different path. What had begun as persecution from pagan and Jewish forces eventually turned into persecution from people who also called themselves Christians. For over one thousand years, the church was hidden from mainstream society, and its history can only be found in scraps and pieces, much of it written by the persecutors themselves, but we need not look to history to see evidence of Christ’s keeping of the church. Observing the true faith today and the preservation of the pure doctrines of the Bible are all the evidence that is necessary to see the bride of Christ still remaining unspotted from the world. The fact that the church of God exists in purity today is true evidence of Christ’s care for her throughout the ages.

When we view the careful proving of God’s will by the church in conferences, in congregational council meetings, or in other assemblies where the will of God is proven, we begin to get a view of the utmost respect that the church, the bride of Christ, pays to her Head. When we look at how those decisions and directions are given and the lack of harshness and severity in them, we can easily see the gentleness and love with which Christ has not only led but is still leading his church.

Questions

1. Are we too fearful of speaking about God’s order because of the world’s views today?
2. What is required of a wife whose husband doesn’t properly love and care for her? Should she still respect him?
3. What is our responsibility if we become aware of a husband or wife who abuses their partner, either physically or emotionally?
4. Successful marriages are the result of sacrifice. How do we properly assess and deal with the dangers of the self-serving, worldly spirit that surrounds us?

Source: COGICM Daily Bible Readings (Daily Bible Readings, PO Box 124, Glenn, CA 95943).