Preschool
He delivereth me from mine enemies (Psalm 18:48).
A Bridled Tongue
Memory Verses
Primary
The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles (Psalm 34:17).
Junior
Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord (Psalm 31:24).
Background Scripture: James 3
Lesson Scripture: James 3:2–12
Introduction
A bridle is a device used principally for control and restraint. Domesticated animals such as horses have been tamed by us humans. They become our friends and companions, yet they are still animals. There are instances where trusted animals turned on their masters and became violent. Due to an animal’s natural instinct, just jumping on a horse’s back and supposing the horse will take you to your destination is foolhardy. We put bridles on them and bits in their mouths, and with the reins we can turn the horse in whatever direction we need them to go.
The Bible tells us that no man can tame the tongue. To a Christian, this can be disheartening, but with the grace of God we can learn to control our tongue. While it is good to communicate, we cannot just speak anything that comes to our minds. “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones” (Prov. 16:24).
Key Verse
The tongue of the just is as choice silver (Prov. 10:20).
Lesson Scripture
James 3:2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.
3 Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.
4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.
5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:
8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God.
10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.
11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?
12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.
Studying the Lesson
Exceptionally large seafaring vessels of today continually cross the oceans of the world. Some of these ships are over one thousand feet in length, have as many as eighteen or twenty decks, and carry well over three thousand passengers plus crew. Even with their massive size, a rudder is necessary; the winds and waves can easily blow a ship off course. The Titanic was 882 feet long, 92 feet wide, 175 feet tall, and had ten decks. Her rudder was a mere fifteen feet long, and had it been used properly, shipwreck could have been avoided.
The tongue is like the rudder—small but capable of changing a person’s course. With our tongues we say many things. The words we speak can cause great damage. Sometimes we embellish what we are saying, sometimes we use flattery that is not genuine, sometimes we say a few words that sting, and sometimes it is just the inflection of our voice that causes hurt.
When our words are not sanctified, they can cause great offense. We may think what we said was inconsequential and without much meaning, but the other party can take those words in a different context, and it becomes cause for great wrong, pain, and grief. Matthew 12:37 says that by our words we shall be justified and by our words we shall be condemned. James 3:6 says it even plainer. Our words, when left to our human inclinations, will unleash the fire of hell. Out of the approximate 2,200 people on board the Titanic, about 1,500 lost their lives because the ship was not steered out of harm’s way. This lesson should cause us to take a serious look at the catastrophic results our words can have, not only in our relationships but also for our own souls.
Practical Truths for Today
The gift of communication is God-given. Good communication is one of the most important aspects of relationships and is a key element to the success of any organization, institution, or business. A lack of communication will quickly contribute to a breakdown of confidence, and without confidence our endeavors at working together will potentially fail.
Everyday life is a cacophony of sound, some pleasant, some jarring. As we step out into nature, our ears are soothed with a carefully orchestrated symphony conducted by the Creator of the universe. We often say words we wish we had not, but we should be very thankful we do not live in silence. There is beauty in being able to express our thoughts and feelings with one another.
The words that come out of our mouths have their origin in our minds. “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh” (Matt. 12:34). When we allow sinful attitudes or other impurities in our lives, whether by thought or action, these will come out in our speech. Impatience can often be the cause of unbridled speech. Something crosses our path, things do not go the way we wanted, or someone causes us to be delayed; these are a sampling of the issues that prompt impatience. Here words are said in the heat of the moment that we will later regret. If we analyze our motives, we will find that our impatience is caused by selfishness. A self-centered person will speak of his own pursuits.
No matter how good we would like to appear, we cannot hide our lust and pride. Satan especially entices the youth to fall into the trap of foolishness, making it difficult to think soberly. Jesting and joking may carry an element of untruth, but the root word of “foolishness” is fool. It becomes difficult to respect a person with a foolish reputation. (Read Ephesians 5:3–4.)
Many unregenerate people have difficulty controlling their words. Becoming a new creature in Christ Jesus is paramount. When God holds the reins of our heart, all things become possible (Matt. 19:26). The first step is to ask God to cleanse our hearts of our impure attitudes. As we grow in Christian grace, we will learn more of our own evil inclinations and see our corrupt nature for what it is.
Experience teaches us that saying every thought that comes into our minds is not acceptable. The average person speaks 16,000 words each day. Before speaking, consider passing your words through “The Three Gates.” 1 At the first gate ask yourself, “Is it true?” At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?” At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?” When God cleanses our hearts, we will learn to refrain from speaking hasty words. We should recognize that our tongue has often gotten us into trouble in the past, and we should earnestly implore God for grace to sanctify our speech.
“A Christian’s speech is characterized by love, truth, kindness, and tenderness (Eph. 4:15, 25, 32).” 2 Our minds and hearts should be filled with the love of God, love for the souls of men, and the well-being and happiness of others. It will take an earnest endeavor to learn to speak graciously and kindly. If we have a genuine concern for others, we will be interested in them, and we can bless our fellowman by speaking encouraging, cheerful words that lift them up. A large part of communicating is listening. Learning to truly listen takes concentration. Generally, we are not listening well to what is really being spoken because our minds are hastening on to how we will respond. The greatest power in heaven or earth is love. A person who is filled with the love of God will listen with the heart, and gracious words will flow from their lips. We will make mistakes, but we need not be discouraged. God will honor an honest effort, but He will also remind us that words do matter. We will need God’s help to be careful in our choice of words; He will give grace to help soften our speech if we ask Him.
Questions
- Share thoughts or experiences of how to refrain from speaking hasty or angry words that quickly surface due to impatience or contrary situations that arise.
- Are there times when it is better to not say anything? Is silence a proper part of communication?
- What is the antidote for foolishness?
- Is praying for grace the answer to bridling our tongue, or is a serious effort on our part the first step?
- 1 Rumi
- 2 Bible Doctrine and Practice, p. 422
Source: COGICM Daily Bible Readings (Daily Bible Readings, PO Box 124, Glenn, CA 95943).